Saturday started with a plan. I
was going to have a nice, quiet, relaxing day in the house, the first for some
weeks, but as I have learnt plans here don’t always go according to plan.
I sent one of my guards out to get
some airtime for my Internet connection and became quite concerned he hadn’t
returned after about 30 minutes, when he should have only been gone a few
minutes. Two of the Bishop’s
staff, who are in a house a short distance away, then came to tell me that he had
been arrested and taken to prison due, to it seems, for buying tobacco for some
passing prisoners who were going to do some community work. Anyway, after a few phone calls to ask
people what I should do, my guard returned looking a bit sheepish but probably
a lesson learnt. Think he was concerned as I think he tried to explain that ‘Madam’, his
wife, was expecting (lost count how many children he has – think this will be
number 7) by the gestures he was making to his stomach so guess she wouldn’t be too happy if her husband ended up in the nick. Although, last time I thought he
told me his wife was expecting it turned out to be their cow so I may have got it
wrong!
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Early morning mists in the Nyungwe |
This week the news here has all been about the Nyungwe Forest. A priest from the Catholic Diocese of Cyangugu, who was also their Chief Accountant, was found dead in his car in the forest – foul play was suspected. And then, news of a bus crash early one morning with first reports saying seven people killed but since heard only it was only one. The first buses leave here at 3am in the morning to get to Kigali at 8am so driving fast through the forest in darkness, often when it is raining with mists hanging low over the roads makes for a challenging journey.However, always difficult to really find out what has happened as so much gossip flies around the ‘Cyangugu Grapevine’.
Boniface, who works here at the
Diocese, left later that morning for Kigali as he is getting married today and
he could quite easily have been on that bus as many staff use it. Emmanuel,
Peace Guest Manager, had taken the 3am bus a couple of days earlier. I have been
up and down to Kigali a lot recently on the public buses so a bit concerning.
I’ve been getting used now to the six hour
bus journey up and down to the city. The journey always start with an argument
on the bus, as passengers have sat in the wrong numbered seats – if only they
sat in the right seat then it would be so easy. Everyone seems to get involved, except the muzungu who just
sits and observes. The last two drivers
have driven exceptionally fast as if they are on a bonus to reach Kigali or
Kamembe in record time – perhaps they are.
Driving through the forest you often see it littered with lorries that have come off the
road, or overturned as their brakes or something else mechanical has failed.
This is the only road, through Rwanda, to Bukavu in the DRC so many big
lorries use it coming from Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania – it is a real test of
the vehicles road worthiness and judging by the lorries that don’t make it,
many aren’t fit to be on the road.
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One happy Muzungu reunited with his passport after three months |
With the news that I had finally, after four months, got my visa and my passport back I was able to attend a CMS Conference in Nairobi last week. CMS (Church Mission Society) is the organisation I have come out here with and the conference was the bringing together of CMS and CMS Africa and many mission partners from Rwanda, Uganda, DRC, Burundi, Kenya, Tanzania, South Sudan and Ethiopia.
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The pink Rosa Mystica complete with shrimps |
Apart from an overnight stay in
Nairobi, due to my return flight to London going technical a couple of years ago;
this was my first proper visit to the city. Spent most of the week in the
rather strangely named ‘Rosa Mystica Spiritual Centre', more like
somewhere you go for tarot card reading and fortune telling – a pink, almost art-deco
looking building with strange, shrimp like, carvings around the windows. It is
located in a secure compound with high-walls, guards and even electric fences
as much of the buildings of Nairobi are.
There was an opportunity to visit
some projects in Nairobi and I visited one in Soweto slum that was a very
enterprising church community project comprising of a school, church, carpentry
& joinery workshop, bio-kitchen gardening, soap & detergent making,
tailoring, bio-gas project and a water supply project. Most of the buildings were made of
corrugated iron and tin but it showed you what could be done in these slum
communities with no big school or church buildings. The senior Pastor gave up a good job in the city to come and
work here.
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Soweto slum, Nairobi |
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School children playing in Soweto |
There were conflicting reports of
the number of people who live in the Nairobi slums – I was told 70% of the 4
million city population but someone else said it was only 40% but I have since
read it is 60%. Soweto slum has around 200,000 people living there but Kibera,
the one that most people know, has around 1,000,000.
One of the
most noticeable things coming to Nairobi, having been in Kigali, other than the
amount of traffic at rush hour, is the rubbish. Kigali, and Rwanda, is spotless in comparison and its ban on
plastic bags certainly contributes to its cleanliness.
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Going nowhere fast in Nairobi |
The great thing about my time in
Nairobi was meeting up with some people I got to know last summer, when I came
back to the UK for mission training and the many new people that were involved
in very interesting projects across the range of countries that were
represented.
I struck up a conversation with a
young man who was at the conference to look after the audio-visual. He told me
that he had been a street boy living on the streets as his parents were
constantly fighting and his father was always drunk. He had been rescued by a
muzungu through an organisation that was supporting the street children, was
able to go to school and get a job. He had since gone home to visit and his
father had now stopped drinking and things between his parents were a lot
better. A heartening story.
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From street boy to professional young man |
In between looking after a team
from the UK, who left Rwanda just before I went to Nairobi, I came back to
Kigali to attend the wedding of Enid Kanyana, the Assistant Manager at the
guest house and husband Steven Musoni.
They had married in a civil ceremony two weeks earlier as the church,
here in Rwanda, cannot legally marry couples. The day started with the
‘giveaway’ ceremony followed by the church ceremony and then the reception
which was much more like another ceremony – this is then followed by a smaller,
family ceremony so by the end of the day the bride and groom must be ready for
bed!
As I’ve said before, in this blog,
the thing I love about being here is the observations I make about the cultural
differences between Rwanda and the UK and going to these ceremonies allowed me
to observe a traditional Rwandese wedding and all its customs.
The invitation announced that the
giveaway would start at 9am so I, with a few others, was there on time. The setting was in some lovely shaded
gardens in a small guest house in Kigali with two marquees set-up facing each
other – one for the bride’s family and friends and one for the groom’s or
should it be wife’s and husband’s as they were already married. There was then a smaller, more ornate
marquee between the two where the bride, groom and attendants sat.
Two hours later, the ceremony
started. Waiting for those two hours, I was trying to understand how they knew
when it was going to start – the grooms marquee was empty whilst the bride’s
started to fill up but then all the groom’s family and friends entered together
as they had to be invited by the bride’s family to attend the ceremony.
It made me think about English
weddings that not only start on time but normally guests arrive an hour early.
The giveaway is the traditional
ceremony where the bride’s family gives her away to the groom – it is also
where the dowry is given and I was a bit disappointed when no cows appeared as
today money is the common form of a dowry. Elders of the family made lots of
speeches, there was lots of giving of bottles of non-alcoholic drink and
Fantas, some other ritual where the groom places a hat on someone’s head and
the bridal party arrived accompanied by singers and dancers.
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Steven & Enid at the Giveaway |
All very beautiful but rather
solemn with no smiling bride – this worried me a bit but I was assured it was
quite normal. The ceremony was over quite quickly and then there was time to
change before moving onto the church.
As I had decided to save my suit and tie to the afternoon church and
reception, I went back to where I was staying to get changed and due to heavy
traffic and getting confused where I had to go to pick-up the Bishop’s wife,
Esther and her son, Jonathan, we arrived at the service late. I wasn’t too worried as I thought,
following the giveaway, it would start late but I was wrong, it had started on
time.
Kigali can get very hot and under
a tin roof, in suit, shirt and tie it can get even hotter. Strangely, the bride and groom and
attendants sat on one side and not at the front so I couldn’t really see them
for much of the service until the time they exchanged rings.
It was then onto the reception
located in some lovely gardens just on the edge of the city. Again, marquees
had been set-up located on the hillside but just after we arrived there was a
rumble of thunder, strikes of lightning and a strong wind built up. The guests who had arrived, ran for
shelter under the marquees but rather scarily we realised that, with the
strength of the wind, they were in danger of being blown away so many of the
guests had to hold onto the metal structures. Once the wind had subsided, we
made a dash back to the cars and waited until, finally, the rain stopped.
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Holding onto the marquee to stop it blowing away |
I was pleased to see the bride and
groom get out of the car but then realised it wasn’t Enid and Steven and
thought, for a moment, we had come to the wrong wedding reception until someone
told me that the used the gardens for lots of wedding photos.
The reception, more of a ceremony,
was very similar to the giveaway – lots of speeches, more Fanta, presentation
of the gifts and some frenzied dancing for a few minutes, For that to happen at
a UK reception, the guests would have had to down large quantities of alcohol,
as they often do, so not bad they managed it here on a bottle of Fanta!
Interesting that the brides and
grooms families and friends do not mix - there is a very distinct separation with us all sitting there looking at
one another. Then there is the
customary cutting of the cake with layers given to various family members and
friends.
Before the wedding, I set myself a task to buy a
new white shirt as the ones I have, have turned a shade of yellow. Trying to
buy a plain white shirt didn’t turn out to be an easy task – the first shop
tried to sell me once that had a collar size of 18.5 (I’m a 16 but think my
next has now shrunk to a 15.5) trying to convince me that it would fit. I
noticed that all the size were X-Large and no, I didn’t want one with red
buttons or flower prints around the cuffs and collars – "I just want a plain
white shirt" I said.
Next stop was a shop in Kigali Tower with their
brand new shops that, sadly, some had closed down since my last visit. This shop too had all sorts in x-large
but the young chap was very persistent in trying to find me a shirt – the first
one was far too big around the collar even though he was trying to convince me
that it was OK – he had even persuaded me to try it with a tie and a jacket. He rummaged around in some drawers and
pulled out a shirt that I tried on and it fitted. I was paying over the odds for it (at least a month’s salary
for some of the PGH staff) but I thought I could not face going anywhere else
so bought it – I think I may have been his only customer of the day so I did
take pity on him. Found out his
family live in Cyangugu so we exchanged numbers, I promised I will go back to
his shop when I am next in Kigali and I left with a white shirt and another new
friend!
The team I mentioned earlier had a wonderful time
here in Rwanda and was transformed by the experience of being here. I enjoy so much showing people this
beautiful country, who come for the first time, and to see how being here
changes them and knowing many will come back. Interesting to see how nervous they seem at the beginning,
as not sure what to expect or what they may catch so always there is the smell
of hand-gel in the daytime and mosquito repellent in the evening!
Now I have my passport back, I am now able to
return to the UK and have booked my flight to come back on 30th
March for a month. Only four weeks to go – not that I am counting but I am
looking forward to seeing family and friends, not to mention my four- legged
friend, again.