Smiles

After what has been quite a difficult week (more about that later), yesterday started with Umuganda (Community Work Day) and I worked with some other people from Mont Cyangugu where I live. Our task was to clear a small road that runs past my house, along the hill that had become quite overgrown with bushes, plants and weeds since the heavy rains. Although only a small group of people turned up, we did manage with pangas (machetes) and slashers (long blades that are a bit like a golf-club putter allowing you to cut the grass by slashing it and without bending down) to make quite a difference after a couple of hours.

The work session finishes with the executive leader of the area giving out news.  We were told that there are been problems at night, along this stretch of road and hence the reason for us clearing it, with thieves.  I have to be thankful that I live in a secure house with high walls, gates and guards although I haven’t, in the time I have been here, felt in any danger but there are many people who live here who don’t have walls, gates and guards and their houses are often the target for thieves. Some of the people complained saying they paid money each month for security patrols and they weren’t really do their jobs properly.

I also learnt that the police are on the alert for Rwandans who escaped to the DRC, after the genocide, who are looking to come back to stir up trouble – they found one man at the border crossing, trying to come across into Rwanda, with a pistol hidden in a sack of grain. It’s easy to forget when you sit here and look across the lake to the DRC (as I am doing now) what a lawless and dangerous country it is and still home for many Rwandans who now live or have ben hiding there since 1994.

After Umuganda, I’d arranged to go and visit the family of Cyrille, one of the staff at the guesthouse, something I had promised to do for some time.  Cyrille is a lovely young man, one of the best workers we have and has an amazing Colgate smile! I know that when the other staff have found out I visited his family they are all going to want me to go and visit theirs so I could be quite busy.  Cyrille’s family live about an hour’s walk from the house and it was wonderful trek through the countryside passing through woods, walking through fields growing cassava, beans, bananas, grass for the cattle, bamboo and something I think may have been sisal.

Cyrille's Colgate smile!

We went via Murangi Farm, owned by the Diocese and where Cyrille worked before he came to the guesthouse.  A bit of a detour but worth it when we got there as it had been a while since I last visited and it was good to see it looking good with fields of banana trees, beans, cassava as well as cows, pigs and chickens.  The farm supplies the guesthouse with eggs and sells them also in Kamembe so generating income for the farm –I bought a dozen for myself and some for Cyrille’s Mum and was quite amused to see they have egg boxes from a Hoad’s Farm, Seddlescombe in East Sussex so wondering how they got there!

Eggs from Hoad's Farm, East Sussex

Cyrille’s Mum and Grandmother live in a little community of houses deep in the countryside.  In each of the houses lives a member of his family – mainly his Mum’s brothers whilst Cyrille’s sister lives in Kamembe.  Cyrille’s father died in the genocide.  I guess it isn’t everyday they have a muzungu to visit so it didn’t take long for all the children to appear and enjoy the biscuits I had brought with me.  Houses here are simply built out of mud-bricks with tin roofs and outside kitchens. 

The kitchen & we complain when we don't have enough worktops!

Cyrille pointed out the new light switches and light bulb sockets saying the houses would soon have electricity as it was the governments policy to get electricity into every home in Rwanda – what a difference this will make (as long as they can afford to buy it) and for the children when they do their homework at night.  The houses because they are mud-lined inside are dark in the day and much darker at night!

It was great to see this family living in a community – mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, sons, daughters, nephews, nieces and cousins something we have lost in the West and Cyrille’s Grandmother the Matriarch of the family.

Cyrille's Granny

The muzungu couldn't quite match Cyrille's Colgate smile

After the customary Fanta, photographs and questions for the muzungu about if I was married, how many children I had, what are their names, how old were they, how old was I and then laughter when I attempted to talk to them in my limited Kinyarwandan, it was time to leave and take a shortcut back to Kamembe. 

Cyrille's family - his Mum is in centre at back

Cyrille’s shortcuts involved going up very steep hills (he told me he used to run up these hills with a backpack on to keep fit) and I found myself getting very out of breath which is more, I have to say, to do with the altitude here than my fitness – Cyrille kept saying “sorry, sorry” each time I stopped as if it was his fault and a lovely thing I notice they say here when they see you struggling or are unwell. I had lots of “sorries” when I went to church this morning when they saw a plaster on my hand following a nasty blister I got doing Umuganda. I must sound so feeble but by Rwandan standards I am now an old man!

One of Cyrille's shortcuts

Soon we were back in Kamembe where it felt strange to emerge from the peacefulness of the countryside into the bustling town and the sharp contrast between rural and town living.

Being back in town reminded me of the difficult week I had just had.  I bumped into a young man who I had to dismiss from the guesthouse last week.  It was the first time I have had to sack someone so not an easy experience but I was justified in my decision and as a contract worker I was able to let him go straight away.  It was a shame as he was a young man I had tried to help by giving him a job so he had some money, accommodation and meals at the guesthouse but for a number of reasons he couldn’t fit in. I understand he had told someone that other staff were against him as they thought I had given him a job to spy on them! Not true but it is the way peoples mind work here sometimes.

A lot of people said he was a troubled young man which I guess he was and I did wonder, after I had let him know, whether he would come back and try and cause trouble for me so in a way I was pleased to see him in town yesterday and have a talk.

Passing the hospital also reminded me of a visit I had made earlier that week to see two people. The first was a man who had become known to me and members of out church teams over the years who was diabetic and someone from the church supported him by giving him money to buy insulin.  He was now in hospital with a serious kidney infection and suffering in all sorts of ways.  Whilst he had medication the insurance scheme he was on only allowed for a certain level of medicine – most people in Rwanda, unless you can afford to pay for seeing a doctor or going into hospital, have to have medical insurance and the poorer people have a scheme called Mutelle and although it only costs around £3.00 per year for each family member, many families cannot afford to pay this and they have to pay 10% of treatment costs which again for many people is something they cannot afford to do.

When you go into hospital, you have to have a carer with you and this is often a family member who stays with you in the room either sleeping in a spare bed or on the floor.  They will bring in food and cook it in the hospital and also clean and wash the patient.  This man was also struggling, as he had no money to pay for food for his family or pay for his children to go to school.  The doctor said he needed to be transferred to a hospital in Huye (3 hours by road) or Kigali (6 hours) for further treatment that would, financially, be out of his reach. Fortunately, later that day I was able to contact someone in the UK who very generously donated some money to support him and his family.

I next visited a young woman with a sick baby who featured in my blog a few months ago. The baby is again very sick with pneumonia and malnutrition and I found him lying on a bed covered in dirty woolen blankets looking very ill and weak.  Although just over year old he looked as if he was only a few months old but the doctor who came into the room did say he thought he would recover although it would never be fully well. The mother has insurance to pay for treatment and fortunately funds were available at the Diocesan clinic to support her and the baby if further treatment was needed.

A couple of days before I’d been to hospital, I’d gone to see a lady who had worked for many years at the guesthouse. Some months ago we noticed a salary was being paid to an ex-member of staff who nobody knew about so I suggested we stop the payment, as I needed the money to pay for another worker I wanted to take on, and said that if she wanted the money then I am sure she would let us know. We had no way of contacting her, as nobody seemed to know where she lived. Anyway, a few months later she did let us know and it turned out she is someone who is dying of HIV. I went to see her, as I wanted to explain to her why we had stopped her salary and also to say sorry.  When I went into her bedroom in the house where she is staying and being looked after, at first I only saw a large double bed with a sheet in the middle but then realized there was a person there and although nothing more than skin and bones I was greeted by an amazing smile that actually lit up the room.

It turned out she had worked at the guest house since 1998 and had been there over the time I had visited since 2006 but, sadly, I had no recollection of her and someone said that she was a very large, plump lady but now so, so painfully thin.  It was a the first time I had been so close to someone so ill with HIV and it was quite shocking.  I, of course, promised to pay her the money that we had not paid her – it is only a small salary of £20.00 but it will help her careers to look after her.  A very humbling experience.

When I am at the guesthouse, I often have people who come to see me about a problem they had.  This week I was pleased to see a lady from the DRC whose husband had suddenly died a couple of years ago.  Her husband used to make wooden crafts and bring them to the guesthouse to sell to the teams I used to bring from the UK.  We had suddenly heard he had died but nobody knew how or from what and we couldn’t find any information about him.  His wife was able to tell me that he had suffered from severe head pains and had become paralyzed down one side and on visiting hospitals in Burundi and Rwanda he came back to the DRC and was, finally, able to get a diagnosis that he had, what sounds like, a brain tumour. He died aged 37 leaving behind a wife and 7 children. Hopefully, I am going see if I can get some of the crafts, still made by his wife and a co-operative, sold in the guesthouse shop to support her.

Being here, you come across so many people living in challenging and difficult conditions but as I have said before I never hear people complain. They may from time to time ask to borrow money but often because their need is so great and they understand if the answer is no. I feel very blessed to be developing these friendships (and to help where I can) and Rwanda is a relational place where people give time for one another. Through these people I meet, I am also learning a lot about myself and although at times not easy I feel it is very much part of why I am here.

Rwanda - Part Two

Shades of blue across Lake Kivu

It is now two weeks since I left the UK to return to Rwanda. After a five-week break (my planned four weeks back in the UK turned into five), I now find myself back in Kamembe on the shores of Lake Kivu overlooking the distant hills and mountains of the DRC. I am sitting again on my terrace writing this, banished from the house as Modeste, my guard, does one of his mega cleaning jobs on the house.  I have just rescued my connection lead, charging my Mac, before it got covered in water as he mops out the house. 

House cleaning

Reflecting on the last few weeks it still amazes me, despite many years of travelling to many overseas places, how quickly we can be transported from one country to another, from one continent to another and from one culture to another.

Leaving Rwanda at the end of March and a fairly small Kigali Airport, I soon sound myself in Brussels Airport and shortly after at Heathrow and then on the M25 back to Lewes.  The uneven, red mud tracks of Rwanda suddenly seemed a long way away – about 4,000 miles.

I had a very enjoyable but busy time back in the UK. Busier than I had anticipated due to the interest shown by everyone in Rwanda and what I had been doing. I felt I was on a bit of a Rwanda PR trip around the UK taking in Lewes, London, Yaxley (Peterborough), Oxborough and Blakeney in Norfolk, Battle, Rye, Bognor Regis, Emsworth and Havant.

Cley, Norfolk - very different landscape to Rwanda

I found it difficult to walk along Lewes High Street without being stopped and asked about Rwanda – I managed to get around to see most people who wanted to speak to me but apologies to those that I didn’t and will put you on the top of the list when I come back next time.

I’ve worked out I got around to see at least 30 different sets of people/groups/family over the 33 days I was back. I was well fed during these visits and could tell this by the number of people here in Rwanda telling me when I got back that I looked fat!  Here, it is a compliment as it is a way of saying “you look well” so quite different to how it is meant in the UK – however, I have noticed my stomach has expanded so I’m hoping that my twice daily 40 minute from the house to the guest house will help to get this down again.

Many people asked me what it was like being back in the UK.  I guess it was strange at first but I quickly adapted to being back and life, in many ways, continues as it has done a year ago.  Doing what I am doing does change you and you do come back with a different perspective and you sort of look into the world you left behind. Coming back to Rwanda I realised how easy it is to step back into life here again.

The thing I realised about being back in the UK was the number of friendships and relationships that have grown out of the work I and Southover Church have been doing since I first came here in 2006.  There was a huge interest in what I have been doing, the country, the life here and as there was so much coverage on the news during the genocide memorial week, it was good to be able to give a more balanced view on what life is like in Rwanda today.

Coming back I realise that although I left many lovely friends and family back home (not to mention my dog Jasper who was very, very pleased to see me) I have come back to lovely friends here in Rwanda. Returning to the guesthouse, I was met by very excited staff who were so pleased to see the return of the General Manager as I was pleased to see them too. There were hugs, laughter and tears (some of them mine) and a special “Welcome back General Manager” fruit cocktail and a presentation of a General Manager badge.

Also, much work had been done and is being done on some of the guesthouse rooms with new bathrooms, tiling and redecoration of 14 rooms – such a difference.  Now we have the task of getting new furniture, curtains and other fittings to finish them off.

A new look Peace Guest House

I have quickly got back into the African swing of things. Although, we should now be in the hot dry season we still have some rains around and last night we had a big storm and torrential downpour. I am getting used to the heat, the breathlessness from the altitude and the stares – yes, the Muzungu is back!

Many people asked me, when I was in the UK, what my typical day looks like.  I guess every day is different and working at the guesthouse brings different visitors every day and there are always different situations and problems to face as I go about my normal day.  Here is what yesterday, Saturday, looked like – not so much a typical working day as it was supposed to be my day-off but things here don’t always go according to plan.

I had agreed on Friday to meet up with Bishop Nathan on Saturday. As he is always so busy I need to grab him when I can and I had not yet had an opportunity to meet him since getting back.

Saturday: 6.45am text message from Bishop Nathan asking if I could be at his house at 7.30am as he had suggested we go to the very nice Nyungwe Lodge Hotel for a meeting as he had some visitors from Kigali who wanted to visit the Nyungwe Forest.  A scramble to get myself up, showered, dressed and ready at his house by 7.30am.

I should know by now that a scramble is not really necessary as reaching the house at 7.30am nobody was ready so I joined everyone for breakfast.  Once Bishop Nathan started putting his socks on we knew it was time to leave and as Jimmy, his driver hadn’t turned up (later found out that he’d lost his wallet the night with his identity card, driver’s licence and bank card), Bishop Nathan decided to drive so with me in the front and three American visitors and Jonathan, Bishop Nathan’s, son, squeezing themselves into back seat. A bit of confusion having two Jonathans as Bishop Nathan refers to us both as Jo but we soon decided on Jonathan senior and Jonathan junior.

I never tire of the journey to Nyungwe. The road is quite spectacular with views of Lake Kivu, the hills of Rwanda and tea plantations and many people walking many miles to market with piles of matoke (cooking bananas) on their heads, sacks of vegetables and the odd bench or wooden double bed!  Nothing really surprises me now about what they carry on their head although I did see a woman once walking down the road with as single trainer balanced on her head and a man walking out of a shopping centre in Kigali with a fridge-freezer on his head!

After a short stop at the Nyungwe Visitor Centre to check out the price of guided treks, Bishop Nathan decided to take the visitors into the forest and allow them to take a short trek so that could experience the forest without the high cost of paying for a guide. They were told to just go for a few minutes whilst Bishops Nathan and I waited in the car and had an informal meeting and a catch-up.

After 45 minutes and no sign of the visitors, Bishop Nathan started to get a bit worried – not so much that we thought they were lost but more of the trouble that he would get into if anyone found that a Bishop had allowed people to go trekking with a guide.  Leaving the car we went for a short walk to see if we could see them - he was concerned about leaving his car in case anyone saw it and recognised it as his as some months earlier a catholic priest from Cyangugu Diocese, who was also chief accountant, was found dead in his car in the forest in mysterious circumstances.

Thankfully, the visitors came back shortly afterwards and we were able to drive to the Nyungwe Lodge Hotel for a coffee and continuation of our meeting whilst the others explored the grounds of the hotel beautifully located in a middle of a working tea plantation with the forest in the background and monkeys clambering over the roofs of the bedrooms.

Water feature at Nyungwe Lodge Hotel

It was then back to the Bishop’s house for lunch of fish, matoke, sweet potatoes, ground nut sauce, pasta and bananas and another informal chat/meeting with Bishop Nathan before he came back with me to the house so he could look at the work that had been done on the house next door that I am moving into – once I get some furniture. A bit of telling off for Modeste, from the Bishop, as he felt he and the other guards had been neglecting the gardens before he headed off back home for what I suspect was an afternoon nap.

Bird life in the garden

I then had to wait for Sostene, our guesthouse maintenance chap, to come and repair the pipe under my kitchen sink that had been dislodged – he fixed it with a lot of sticky tape but it seemed to have done the trick.  I then attempted an afternoon nap but by that time it had become too hot and I got disturbed by some kids at the gates who I thought were asking me (in English) if I had any brothers – rather strange question I thought until I realised they were asking if I had any guavas on the trees in the gardens.  I do have something round and green on one of the trees so I guess these could be guavas.

The day was finished off by checking emails, catching up on the news on the BBC website and watching on DVD season two of House.

Yes, probably was a typical day.

Home leave

A final (short) blog post before I leave for the UK for a month’s holiday.  Going to Kigali on Friday and then fly to the UK on Saturday evening, via Brussels and hope to be back in Lewes around lunchtime on Sunday.

Having been here for 11 months and with this break ahead of me, I guess it should be time to reflect and write about my time here, what I have learnt, how much it has changed me and all that kind of stuff. However, I realise I need to come home to do all this so I can have some time and space to think about the last year and to also think about the year ahead.  I will be coming back out at the end of April, for at least one more year, but realise how quickly these 11 months have gone and how much more quickly the next year will go - there seems to be so much to do here and the needs are endless and quite overwhelming at times.

When I come back, I will be moving into a house next door to the one that I have been living in for the last year that belongs to Bishop Ken Barham. The new house, which will allow me to create a ‘home’ here in Rwanda, is between Bishop Ken’s and Bishop Nathan’s houses so I don’t expect too much bother from the neighbours!

Chez Muzungu is with the white roof in middle of picture between the two Bishops houses

The new house, ‘Chez Muzungu’, requires some work on it and last week builders have started to add on an outside terrace, put up new tiles the kitchen, bathroom and a shower room.  Then they will paint outside and inside, repair the windows, put in a rain-water harvesting system and it should be ready for me to move in apart from getting some furniture made and buying other items - although Ikea is my worst nightmare, the thought of having one here is now quite appealing.

Adding a terrace onto the end of the house

The shower room - the loo really is in that position!

Having had a week of what has felt like endless meetings, I went out on a boat onto Lake Kivu yesterday afternoon, with a few other people, to enjoy a couple of hours on the water to see some wonderful birdlife, fishermen in their boats as well as people and children who live on some of the outlying islands.  

People on Gihaya Island, Lake Kivu

It was great to see the area where I live but from out on the water and to get a sense of what it must be like for the fishermen, when they are out during the night and there is a huge storm – even yesterday the water was fairly choppy but then we discovered a lovely inlet where the water was calm and we cruised slowing along the shore watching the birdlife and waving to the children who ran following us.

Going shopping

Young boy on Nkombo Island

Gone fishing!

So, I now have a few days to get my head around coming home to the UK. I am leaving Rwanda for what is a difficult time for so many here as it is genocide memorial month and this year is the 20^th anniversary.  The heavy rains come too.  I will miss all the friends I have made here but look forward to coming back at the end of April but, equally, I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends back in the UK.

Strange goings on in the forest

Saturday started with a plan. I was going to have a nice, quiet, relaxing day in the house, the first for some weeks, but as I have learnt plans here don’t always go according to plan.

I sent one of my guards out to get some airtime for my Internet connection and became quite concerned he hadn’t returned after about 30 minutes, when he should have only been gone a few minutes.  Two of the Bishop’s staff, who are in a house a short distance away, then came to tell me that he had been arrested and taken to prison due, to it seems, for buying tobacco for some passing prisoners who were going to do some community work.  Anyway, after a few phone calls to ask people what I should do, my guard returned looking a bit sheepish but probably a lesson learnt. Think he was concerned as I think he tried to explain that ‘Madam’, his wife, was expecting (lost count how many children he has – think this will be number 7) by the gestures he was making to his stomach so guess she wouldn’t be too happy if her husband ended up in the nick. Although, last time I thought he told me his wife was expecting it turned out to be their cow so I may have got it wrong!

Early morning mists in the Nyungwe

This week the news here has all been about the Nyungwe Forest. A priest from the Catholic Diocese of Cyangugu, who was also their Chief Accountant, was found dead in his car in the forest – foul play was suspected.  And then, news of a bus crash early one morning with first reports saying seven people killed but since heard only it was only one. The first buses leave here at 3am in the morning to get to Kigali at 8am so driving fast through the forest in darkness, often when it is raining with mists hanging low over the roads makes for a challenging journey.However, always difficult to really find out what has happened as so much gossip flies around the ‘Cyangugu Grapevine’.

Boniface, who works here at the Diocese, left later that morning for Kigali as he is getting married today and he could quite easily have been on that bus as many staff use it. Emmanuel, Peace Guest Manager, had taken the 3am bus a couple of days earlier. I have been up and down to Kigali a lot recently on the public buses so a bit concerning.

I’ve been getting used now to the  six hour bus journey up and down to the city. The journey always start with an argument on the bus, as passengers have sat in the wrong numbered seats – if only they sat in the right seat then it would be so easy.  Everyone seems to get involved, except the muzungu who just sits and observes.  The last two drivers have driven exceptionally fast as if they are on a bonus to reach Kigali or Kamembe in record time – perhaps they are.

Driving through the forest you often see it littered with lorries that have come off the road, or overturned as their brakes or something else mechanical has failed. This is the only road, through Rwanda, to Bukavu in the DRC so many big lorries use it coming from Uganda, Kenya and Tanzania – it is a real test of the vehicles road worthiness and judging by the lorries that don’t make it, many aren’t fit to be on the road.

One happy Muzungu reunited with his passport after three months

With the news that I had finally, after four months, got my visa and my passport back I was able to attend a CMS Conference in Nairobi last week.  CMS (Church Mission Society) is the organisation I have come out here with and the conference was the bringing together of CMS and CMS Africa and many mission partners from Rwanda, Uganda, DRC, Burundi, Kenya, Tanzania, South Sudan and Ethiopia.

The pink Rosa Mystica complete with shrimps

Apart from an overnight stay in Nairobi, due to my return flight to London going technical a couple of years ago; this was my first proper visit to the city. Spent most of the week in the rather strangely named ‘Rosa Mystica Spiritual Centre', more like somewhere you go for tarot card reading and fortune telling – a pink, almost art-deco looking building with strange, shrimp like, carvings around the windows. It is located in a secure compound with high-walls, guards and even electric fences as much of the buildings of Nairobi are.

There was an opportunity to visit some projects in Nairobi and I visited one in Soweto slum that was a very enterprising church community project comprising of a school, church, carpentry & joinery workshop, bio-kitchen gardening, soap & detergent making, tailoring, bio-gas project and a water supply project.  Most of the buildings were made of corrugated iron and tin but it showed you what could be done in these slum communities with no big school or church buildings.  The senior Pastor gave up a good job in the city to come and work here.

Soweto slum, Nairobi

School children playing in Soweto

There were conflicting reports of the number of people who live in the Nairobi slums – I was told 70% of the 4 million city population but someone else said it was only 40% but I have since read it is 60%. Soweto slum has around 200,000 people living there but Kibera, the one that most people know, has around 1,000,000.

One of the most noticeable things coming to Nairobi, having been in Kigali, other than the amount of traffic at rush hour, is the rubbish.  Kigali, and Rwanda, is spotless in comparison and its ban on plastic bags certainly contributes to its cleanliness.

Going nowhere fast in Nairobi

The great thing about my time in Nairobi was meeting up with some people I got to know last summer, when I came back to the UK for mission training and the many new people that were involved in very interesting projects across the range of countries that were represented.

I struck up a conversation with a young man who was at the conference to look after the audio-visual. He told me that he had been a street boy living on the streets as his parents were constantly fighting and his father was always drunk. He had been rescued by a muzungu through an organisation that was supporting the street children, was able to go to school and get a job. He had since gone home to visit and his father had now stopped drinking and things between his parents were a lot better. A heartening story.

From street boy to professional young man

In between looking after a team from the UK, who left Rwanda just before I went to Nairobi, I came back to Kigali to attend the wedding of Enid Kanyana, the Assistant Manager at the guest house and husband Steven Musoni.  They had married in a civil ceremony two weeks earlier as the church, here in Rwanda, cannot legally marry couples. The day started with the ‘giveaway’ ceremony followed by the church ceremony and then the reception which was much more like another ceremony – this is then followed by a smaller, family ceremony so by the end of the day the bride and groom must be ready for bed!

As I’ve said before, in this blog, the thing I love about being here is the observations I make about the cultural differences between Rwanda and the UK and going to these ceremonies allowed me to observe a traditional Rwandese wedding and all its customs.

The invitation announced that the giveaway would start at 9am so I, with a few others, was there on time.  The setting was in some lovely shaded gardens in a small guest house in Kigali with two marquees set-up facing each other – one for the bride’s family and friends and one for the groom’s or should it be wife’s and husband’s as they were already married.  There was then a smaller, more ornate marquee between the two where the bride, groom and attendants sat.

Two hours later, the ceremony started. Waiting for those two hours, I was trying to understand how they knew when it was going to start – the grooms marquee was empty whilst the bride’s started to fill up but then all the groom’s family and friends entered together as they had to be invited by the bride’s family to attend the ceremony.

It made me think about English weddings that not only start on time but normally guests arrive an hour early.

The giveaway is the traditional ceremony where the bride’s family gives her away to the groom – it is also where the dowry is given and I was a bit disappointed when no cows appeared as today money is the common form of a dowry. Elders of the family made lots of speeches, there was lots of giving of bottles of non-alcoholic drink and Fantas, some other ritual where the groom places a hat on someone’s head and the bridal party arrived accompanied by singers and dancers.

Steven & Enid at the Giveaway

All very beautiful but rather solemn with no smiling bride – this worried me a bit but I was assured it was quite normal. The ceremony was over quite quickly and then there was time to change before moving onto the church.  As I had decided to save my suit and tie to the afternoon church and reception, I went back to where I was staying to get changed and due to heavy traffic and getting confused where I had to go to pick-up the Bishop’s wife, Esther and her son, Jonathan, we arrived at the service late.  I wasn’t too worried as I thought, following the giveaway, it would start late but I was wrong, it had started on time.

Kigali can get very hot and under a tin roof, in suit, shirt and tie it can get even hotter.  Strangely, the bride and groom and attendants sat on one side and not at the front so I couldn’t really see them for much of the service until the time they exchanged rings.

It was then onto the reception located in some lovely gardens just on the edge of the city. Again, marquees had been set-up located on the hillside but just after we arrived there was a rumble of thunder, strikes of lightning and a strong wind built up.  The guests who had arrived, ran for shelter under the marquees but rather scarily we realised that, with the strength of the wind, they were in danger of being blown away so many of the guests had to hold onto the metal structures. Once the wind had subsided, we made a dash back to the cars and waited until, finally, the rain stopped.

Holding onto the marquee to stop it blowing away

I was pleased to see the bride and groom get out of the car but then realised it wasn’t Enid and Steven and thought, for a moment, we had come to the wrong wedding reception until someone told me that the used the gardens for lots of wedding photos.

The reception, more of a ceremony, was very similar to the giveaway – lots of speeches, more Fanta, presentation of the gifts and some frenzied dancing for a few minutes, For that to happen at a UK reception, the guests would have had to down large quantities of alcohol, as they often do, so not bad they managed it here on a bottle of Fanta!

Interesting that the brides and grooms families and friends do not mix - there is a very distinct separation with us all sitting there looking at one another.  Then there is the customary cutting of the cake with layers given to various family members and friends. 

Before the wedding, I set myself a task to buy a new white shirt as the ones I have, have turned a shade of yellow. Trying to buy a plain white shirt didn’t turn out to be an easy task – the first shop tried to sell me once that had a collar size of 18.5 (I’m a 16 but think my next has now shrunk to a 15.5) trying to convince me that it would fit. I noticed that all the size were X-Large and no, I didn’t want one with red buttons or flower prints around the cuffs and collars – "I just want a plain white shirt" I said.

Next stop was a shop in Kigali Tower with their brand new shops that, sadly, some had closed down since my last visit.  This shop too had all sorts in x-large but the young chap was very persistent in trying to find me a shirt – the first one was far too big around the collar even though he was trying to convince me that it was OK – he had even persuaded me to try it with a tie and a jacket.  He rummaged around in some drawers and pulled out a shirt that I tried on and it fitted.  I was paying over the odds for it (at least a month’s salary for some of the PGH staff) but I thought I could not face going anywhere else so bought it – I think I may have been his only customer of the day so I did take pity on him.  Found out his family live in Cyangugu so we exchanged numbers, I promised I will go back to his shop when I am next in Kigali and I left with a white shirt and another new friend!

The team I mentioned earlier had a wonderful time here in Rwanda and was transformed by the experience of being here.  I enjoy so much showing people this beautiful country, who come for the first time, and to see how being here changes them and knowing many will come back.  Interesting to see how nervous they seem at the beginning, as not sure what to expect or what they may catch so always there is the smell of hand-gel in the daytime and mosquito repellent in the evening!

Now I have my passport back, I am now able to return to the UK and have booked my flight to come back on 30^th March for a month. Only four weeks to go – not that I am counting but I am looking forward to seeing family and friends, not to mention my four- legged friend, again.

The Bishop's Socks

Christmas Day - Rwanda 2013

So that was Christmas.  Here, it was over in a flash – it arrived on Christmas Eve with a few trees and decorations appearing (probably having arrived in a container lorry) and by Christmas Day it was over. No commercialism, no hype, no endless TV advertising but also, sadly, no carols, turkey, mince-pies or green triangles from a large tin of Quality Street.  Yes, I did miss it.

Christmas lunch was rice, beans, matoke (cooking bananas), meat and the customary Fanta but I enjoyed it all eating with some of the guesthouse staff who themselves were far from home and, for some, the first time they had stepped inside the restaurant – not to mention having lunch with the General Manager! Have to say I did take myself off the next day to a very nice little hotel down the road and treated myself to a more western style lunch.

New Year is the bigger event here, they kept telling me but even that was nothing to write home about and for me it was home alone and an early night!  Went into the bank today and they still had their tree up and I tried to explain about Twelfth Night, Epiphany, The Three Kings or just bad luck if you leave your decorations up (is it?) but they didn’t really get it. Maybe, they are just making up for the fact they put everything up so late but it does feel odd, being here in the sun and warmth, still seeing trees and decorations and having no sense that Christmas really happened.

Morning rush hour on Lake Kivu - January 2014

So, we are into a New Year and I am starting 2014 where I ended 2013 with my visa saga!  And what a saga it has become but I am pleased to say, finally, I can laugh about it. The latest, and I will keep it short as I feel I am boring everyone with the story now, is Immigration insisted I produce a new Police Clearance Certificate from the UK and to get this by 31^st January.  The slightly crazy thing is they ask for a PCC “from the country that you have lived in for the last six months” which technically is Rwanda but I have given up trying to be technical about anything to do with this process and just do as I am told. 

They did say, just after Christmas, they would give me three-month temporary visa but backdated to 1^st November 2013 so leaving me very little time. Had to send papers back to the UK, using DHL and have had to plan it like a military operation so I can get the certificate sent to me in Kigali so I can go there to pick-it up, go to Immigration with my £100.00 fee for the visa and hey-presto they will give me my passport complete with visa/permit or I have got it wrong and they do want a PCC from Rwanda and not the UK!

I am now tracking the progress of my DHL shipment via the website – it went from Kamembe to Kigali by bus (that bit wasn’t tracked) and there seemed a delay before anything began to appear on DHL.com, so I began to wonder if it was still sitting on the desk at the DHL office here, but then I could see it had reached Kigali, had been sent to Nairobi and is now at Heathrow.  I think next stop in Gatwick and then, hopefully, Lewes and Baron’s Down Road.

I had to make 4 trips to the DHL office here as I am learning it is always good to do a preliminary trip for something important so you can find out when the office is open or closed and what is actually needed if a process is involved, how much it will cost and that kind of thing.  Also, I have learnt that it is good to get to know someone first, have a bit of  a chit-chat and not do the muzungu thing of diving straight in to get something done.

The first two trips proved fruitless as the office was shut and there was no answer to the mobile number that was on the door – I later found out, when the office was open, that the Congolese staff working there had gone back across the border to the DRC as rumours had emerged on social media that Paul Kagame, the Rwandan President, had been assassinated in the DRC – fortunately, the rumours were false. I discovered that the DHL staff member only spoke French or Swahili and I was a bit perturbed when she didn’t seem to know where either England or the UK were but with the help of Jimmy, the Bishop’s driver, who speaks Swahili, we managed to get the shipment sent off.

So, now I have to wait but good to have some respite as this process has really taken over my life in the last few months.  I have been given some hope in that the new British High Commissioner to Rwanda has heard of my plight and I can now contact his secretary for support if my next visit to Immigration proves problematical.

I am now beginning to look ahead to coming back to the UK, at the end of March for a month’s holiday.  Not exactly counting down the weeks but feel in need of a break and having a MOT – check my teeth are ok, have a few top ups on vaccinations and also to find out if being on anti-malarial tablets for a year are causing me any problems. Feel my diet is lacking a few things and really missing things like cereal but a packet here costs around £5.00 and I don’t feel I can justify paying that when it is a quarter of someone’s monthly wage.

Recent visitors from Virginia USA

This one tried to get in on the photo!

Before all that, have a busy few months coming up. Quite a few visitors coming here from UK and USA and have a group of 14 I’m looking after for a couple of weeks in February.  Then I head off to Nairobi, for a week’s conference with CMS, the Mission organisation I am here with, then I come back here for a month before I head home.

There is much excitement in the guest house as we have two staff weddings coming up. Enid, our Assistant Manager, is getting married in Kigali on 8^th February followed shortly by Boniface, Development Manager, on 1^st March.  It’s interesting getting to understand the wedding culture here – the groom has to give a dowry to the bride’s father which used to be a cow or two but now it’s money; then there is the civil ceremony that can happen a few weeks before, followed by the presentation of the groom to the bride’s family (hope they like him!), then there is the giveaway ceremony where the bride’s family formerly give their daughter away and then, finally, there is the church white wedding followed by the honeymoon. Lots of embarrassed laughter when you talk about this bit – think it is a big thing for them when the husband has much to prove!

What happens at the reception has made me laugh as so far removed from what happens in the UK.  Apparently, anyone can turn up – even people walking past can just join the reception and they are usually the first ones who eat the food!  It is seen to be rude not to allow them to come in and also not the thing to have someone at the door checking their names and turning them away.  In the UK we would have no hesitation in going up to someone, who wasn’t invited, and asking him or her to leave.

I think learning and understanding about the cultural differences is the great thing about being here and to see how each culture will approach and deal with a situation.

There are many moments I enjoy observing such as going to the Bishop’s house in the morning, if on some days we drive down together to the guest house, and he is still in bare feet with their ‘housekeeper’ trying to find him a dry pair of socks or the concern so many people had recently when I had a flu-type bug. Nothing serious but everyone was worried that I had malaria but nothing that a paracetamol or two couldn’t cure so stream of visitors checking I was OK – lovely moment when Esther, Bishop Nathan’s wife, came with two of her children to bring me lunch and they entered the house each carrying a pot looking like the three wise men – actually, it was on 6^th January so some relevance there!

Picking tea just outside the Nyungwe Forest

Have been doing quite a bit of driving recently taking some of the visitors to the Nyungwe Forest or down to the Hot Springs.  Never quite sure what Diocesan vehicle I will get to drive – the Land Rover Discovery or the Toyota Land Cruiser. Both quite old, one left hand drive, one right hand (although I’ve been here long enough that I don’t have to check myself all the time that they drive on the right here) but after a while you get used to how they each handle the roads and which work better in first or second gear going up a steep incline. I made a complete hash of trying to get the Discovery out of the Bishop’s compound and up and around a very steep and rocky incline with ditches either side – took me several attempts much to the amusement of the security guards. However, in my defence I did do it in one go in the Land Cruiser.

Driving at night is quite a challenge here, particularly when you can’t work out how to turn the headlights on, as I forget what vehicle I am in and then feeling quite stupid when you find out how they come on!  Some drive with headlights on, some with full-beam so you get blinded, some with no headlights on at all or suddenly turn them on at the last minute blinding you in the process. And, people walking everywhere in the dark with no torches and sometimes all you see is the glow of a mobile phone.

Have now been asked to take part in ‘Umuganda’ the community workday – think they noticed I was not doing this so someone respectfully suggested I should do it.  I did the first one at the end of December, where we tidied up the gardens of the local genocide memorial near the house. Some 10,000 bodies here so a sudden reminder of those events in 1994 – Rwanda is having its 20 year memorial week this April. A few trees where suddenly chopped down nearly falling on me as I was concentrating on doing some weeding, so a new bridge could be built to allow vehicles to get across a big ditch into the memorial. 

At the end, everyone sits for a meeting and the local “cell’ leader talks about the community and reminds people to have health insurance or to start paying rent for the land that their house is on.  I understand that the government gave land to people after the genocide but are now asking people to pay rent – not easy for some people as they earn so little and struggle to find school fees and money for uniforms and books.

It’s a good way for the “muzungu” to get to know people in the community and to understand more of the problems they face here – life is not easy for many of them.